Saturday, September 3, 2011

When You're Tired

This week has stirred a ton of stuff in me, mainly because this week was stressful, tiring, and seemed to produce one issue after another. It seemed though that the more things would come at me, the more I dug in to try and solve them. That sounds great on the surface, but I increasingly began to notice signs that I was pressing, stressing, and...regressing. I had to make it rhyme. Pressing, because things easily agitated me, and I was losing my patience with everything and everyone around me. The slightest thing began to bug me. I felt like everything had to happen in a hurry, and I needed results to everything I was doing rapidly, or I felt like giving up on it. I began stressing, because, in my own strength, I could not yet again provide solutions to many of the issues that faced us this week. I thrive on problem solving. It is like a fun test for me, but when I cannot provide answers to situational problems, I tend to stress. Regressing, in that I was aware the entire time that the reason I was pressing and stressing was that I was not spending time, that critical time, with Jesus. When I do, He takes over, I give these issues to Him, and trust Him in all things. Even though I knew I needed to stop, drop, and invite Him into my crashing world, I still didn't because the little voice of unbelief in me said, "That's not gonna help.", even though I have years of encounter and testimony with Him that crush that lie. Pride does incredibly destructive things to us. It denies you exactly what you need in the most critical time that you need it. So, I wallowed in self-pity, I accused others of not caring about my needs, and I removed myself socially from family and consumed myself in taking care of the family, as any "good responsible father" would do. And I was miserable. I was tired. When you are tired, the natural instinct is for old habits, mindsets, past snares, wounds, behaviors, and mentalities to come rushing in to your aid. Unless you go vertical and set your heart and mind on things above (Colossions 3:1-4), you will welcome them back in and seek their council before you are even aware that you are doing it. When you are tired, that is time more than ever, to guard your heart, and search for wisdom. Go to Him, and ask Him for the ability t remember all that is true, absolute, and eternal, about HIM. Remember that He is your Father, He will always love you, He will never forsake you, He will provide, He will guide you, He will secure you, He will prosper you, He will protect you, He is with you, and that His love will never fail you. As I meditated on these things, my sanity returned, the tempest in my chest began to subside, my peace returned, my awareness of His presence was restored, and I repented for allowing time between us allow for defeated foes to attack and retake my mind and heart for a while. And ya know what, my joy and excitement for life returned. When He is in control, I am not. That is the greatest starting point of any day. You are God, I am not. What a great relief that is. When you are tired, worship Him. When you are tired, turn to Him, and cast what is burdening you onto Him. Once He has it, just relax, and remember how amazing and immeasurably incredible His love is for you. Watch the stress, anxiety, fear, control, worry, and unbelief fall to the ground in the midst of His presence. He is so faithful. Try Him, and you will see what I mean. In Him, by Him, from Him, through Him, and for Him, Kenny Peavy